1) Virtually alone in my circle of friends, I really dislike Tori Amos. I don't have anything personal against her, I just find her work annoying and derivative. ("Cornflake Girl"? What the hell is that about? Why not "Wheaties Girl"? Or "Honey Bunches of Oats Girl"? Or "Cap'n Crunch Girl?") Several years ago when I was music editor at Now Magazine, I gave a radio interview for Associated Press Entertainment Broadcast. When the subject of our Tori came up, I kept pronouncing her name in such a way that if you listen carefully, what I'm actually saying is, "Torrid Anus." The DJ was laughing so hard he had to keep hitting the Cough button to cut off his mike.
2) I think smoking is cool.
3) My step-father was a hospital administrator and a pornography addict.
4) I have dual citizenship (U.S. and Canada).
5) I once sniffed an infuriatingly stupid but gorgeous boss's panties.
6) My favorite color is midnight blue.
7) The only movie that ever genuinely scared me is the Director's Cut of 'The Exorcist'.
8) Sometimes I'm happy.
9) I have multiple sclerosis, but you wouldn't know it if I didn't tell you. It affects different people in different ways. My symptoms are mild so far.
10) I never found Bob Hope the least bit funny.
11) When I was about 22, I dated a painfully cute slip of a blond girl named Rhonda who told me she was 19. After my mom met her, she glared at me and said, very slowly, "There is no way that girl is 19." My mom was right, as usual. I found out later that little Rhonda was only 15. (She's now a grown-up lesbian.)
12) One of my friends in high school, Les Josephson, was killed in a rock-climbing accident just after graduation along with my 7th-Grade Social Studies teacher, Phillip Berk.
13) I refuse to sit in 'food courts'.
14) It's been 16 years, and I still miss Frank.
15) I'm told my name translates in Hebrew as, "Beloved by God."
16) I have never fucked a cheerleader, to my knowledge. Bartenders and waitresses, yes.
17) I'm afraid to shave my head in case my skull is all lumpy and scar-ridden.
18) When my cell phone rings I cringe and go, "Oh, Jesus ... "
19) I'm divorced, and my ex-wife is dead.
20) My half-smoked cigarette just blew away down the street.